Lisa and Johan, Meet Dodgy Doug

I’m in a trench. I am covered in mud, blood and Amarulla. Nobody loves me. I am just going to stay here in this hole and when the construction workers come back in the morning they can backfill over the top of me and that will be that.

Do you Taunt Death?

Oh no. I am here again. It sucks being here. Well actually it feels amazing but through my experience I know that it never, ever, ends well. The world looks so different from this angle. The trees look like green stalactites dripping creatively from the black tarmac roof. Yes, I am in mid-air. Head over heels as so to speak with my motorbike doing cartwheels behind me. This is going to suck.

Zeplins got Cock

There isn’t a disinfectant on this planet that could have saved my finger. It was infected. Poisoned rather. Being the good Samaritan doesn’t always pay off.

Belarus is Awesome

It is hot. Like, serious freaking hot. My chest is on fire from the wood slates that I am lying down on while I’m trying to keep my balls from singeing like over cooked eggs on a frying pan. SMACK! This massive burly Russian guy, like that fellow from Rocky 1, beats my back with a shambock type arrangement of sea weed. He dips in back into the hot water and SMACK! What the hell have I gotten into here?