Psycho Eyes Shamus

“No boy! Stop that! Down Shamus!” I was shouting from about 20 meters away. Shamus, foaming at the mouth with aggression, has my best mate pinned down is going to town on his leg. Duran is screaming for my help. Now, if Raton-el-Toro attempted to hurt my friend I would not hesitate to split it up – but this is no measly fighting bull. This is Shamus.

Why Monkeys Freak Me Out

I dislike monkeys. Something deep down inside of me is repulsed by their little inquisitive eyes, their curious nature and opposable thumbs. Not sure if it’s because they throw poo at each other, have a tug when they are bored or that they think they are higher up on the food chain than me but I really, really dislike monkeys. It may be to do with some mental scaring:

Ryan Kenny turns 30

“Merry Christmas Daddy” says the meager and impoverished little child draped in tatty old rags. “I brought it with my own money” he says proudly. He has been delivering newspapers on his bicycle at 5am for the past 3 months to save up enough money to buy Daddy a gift. His first gift ever.  “My Son, what a wonderful thing to do” as he unwraps it. “Ah, a soda stream machine. Isn’t that wonderful? Thank you so very much” Then, the child starts to sob. Daddy is not pleased. What kind of an arsehole returns a melted soda stream machine covered in beer mold? Hmm…oops.