Lexi

I've never been afraid of the highest heights, Or afraid of flying high, I've never been afraid of the wildest fights, Not afraid of dying. But now I want off this ride 'cause she's scaring me, and I don't like where we're going. I need a new funfair, 'cause she's scaring me, And I don't like where we're going… And now you're gonna miss me. I know you're gonna miss me. I guarantee you miss me…'Cause you changed the way you kiss me : Queue wheel spin and through a doughnut!

Gregs Exorcism

Watching me head bang to Limp Bizkit - Faith on some other chicks Facebook page makes me think: I have had some truly horrific hangovers in my life. Sitting here, chin deep in my coffee with Lucozade and Panado making their way around my system  I reflect on the most epic hangover victim of all time…Not me by the way… Greg.

Black Goo

I get stalked a hell of a lot. Well I used to. It may be the wedding ring that puts weird people off or the fact that now I am a lot more vigilant with whom I share random drinking binges alongside, but there was a time where I had a number of stalkers on my case. Men…by the way.

Pounced on by Pepsi

Black and Yellow. If it goes fast and I can kill myself on it – then it has to be black and yellow. My first pair of roller skates: Black cloth with yellow laces. First Roller Blades: Black plastic and yellow wheels. My Honda Fireblade, first speed boat spin and when I was asked what jumper I want for my skydive? Of course – the black and yellow guy.

Lesson in Physics in Chemistry class

Getting older means you start to lose a lot of your sense of humour. The simple things become more complex and so they aren't as funny as they used to be. Take for instance: Fat people. Proper overweight people with the BMI like a cricket score. That used to be the funniest thing in highschool.