I noticed the stretch of road in front of me open up. I hear
the torque monster motor purring with anticipation. I have two butt naked guys
on the roof of my car, holding onto beer quarts and discussing the morning
booze cruise. I can’t take it…the road is just too beautiful…I hope these guys
can hang on because it is go time…
Camping at Witbank Dam normally left you with an interesting
array of bruises and cuts. From dragging trees down the road behind a station
wagon to lighting bon-fires with petrol we always seemed to collect marks. It
is a cold mid-winters morning after a heavy night of boozing at the Dam when me
and the usual suspects decided to frolic outside in the lush green grass and
absorb some Vitamin D. Lying there Greg decided to climb up onto a pole. We all
watched him as he made large work of a small pole but he was successful in the
end. I can imagine we must have looked like a herd of goats as we all found
interest in climbing up on top of things. Brendan went onto of the beer crate,
I went on top of log pile and Ryan, well Ryan climbed on top of my car.
The Datsun 280ZX had a glass T-Roof which made for an interesting
expedition. One drunken hand wrong and you would slip down the long bonnet back
onto the floor. We all started climbing onto my car for whatever goat-driven reason at the time. There came a
moment where Greg, Brendan and Ryan where on top of the roof and I was inside in
the drivers chair. “Booze cruise” shouts Greg to which we all agreed would be a
great idea. Nice and slow, just allowing the idle of the car to crawl us around
the camp site while we sip away on our beers.
By the first corner at 5 km/h Brendan slips off, nice and
slowly, to the ground followed by a few jeers of laughter and a cheers of the
beer bottles. Greg and Ryan are on the roof – dressed in nothing but underpants
– with me at the steering wheel. It was all going so well. The ZX slowly bumped
and steered its way round the gentle corners and up the little speed humps. The
scenery in front of us was a glass like water mass, rolling green hills, weeping
willows and grazing Zebra. Perfect setting for a slow booze cruise. Then something
happened.
The road straightened up. The mixture of the song choice,
the heat from the vents and the purring of the motor made me loose my cool and I
decided to drop the hammer down. 5km/h, 10kh/h, 20km/h, 40km/h and into second
when I hear the cheering from the booze cruise patrons still clasping onto the
roof of my car. 50km/h onto 60km/h and I noticed something odd… I looked up through
the glass roof a spotted Ryans butt cheeks starting to slide. It all happened
so fast – Whoosh – he is off. He slipped off backwards and made contact with
the ground at 70km/h – head first. The momentum flips him over and flicks him
into the air where he sails off the road and tackles into a small parking pole –
bang! The impact flips his body into a ninja star like spin when he makes two
bounces off the turf and settles in a knot just off the road way. “Ive killed
him, I have just killed my mate” I thought to myself. Brakes! I slammed on the
brakes hard and totally forgot about Greg. There goes Greg.
Ryan gave his beer to Greg just before he fell off. Now in a
lesson on momentum Greg is flying through the air, still maintaining a seated posture
with his back up straight and legs out in front of him with two beer quarts.
One in each hand. He bounced off the turf on his arse and bust both beer bottles
on impact. “Ive gone and killed my other mate as well” I thought I just sat there
frozen for a moment. Zero movement in front of me and none from Ryan in my rear
view mirror.
As I get out my car to head towards Ryan I spotted Greg
getting up pulling massive pieces of glass from his hand and forearm. Running
over to Ryan and he is still not moving I start to panic properly. I slide down
along side him, roll his head onto my lap and say what every teenage boy would
say: “ Holy kak mate! You landed on your head – your will be properly stupid
now”. He just giggled with his eyes closed and I knew he was ok.
We put him in the shower to get cleaned up, picking out
small bits of stone and grass from the lacerations on his legs and back.
Covered him in iodine based spray and took him back the Gregs Moms house.
He still has a chunk missing from his big toe and seems to
avoid car-roof booze cruises since then.
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