Tuesday, 6 December 2016

Day 5 - Grand Canyon and Alien Contact

Standing in the queue to check out (yesterday, day 4) in the Vegas Motel 6. “Hey, that’s my phone!”, “Well, give me back my passport then” as this fight breaks out in the lobby. A good looking but slutty dressed lady and a guy with no shirt on. So my chivalrous instincts kick in as I walk up to grab the guy and boy did I get a lesson in the modern feminist movement. This chick threw in at least 70 punches per minute, ferociously punching his face. The dude cowers over and she starts to rake at his back with Wolverine savagery. She can handle herself. I stepped back into the line and the dude escaped her grasp and bolted for the automatic door. He hot stepped around me and misjudged the automatic door opening speed. “Gimme back my phone you asshole!” she shouts and this guy is jammed in the door (promise you, physically jammed in the automatic glass doorway) as she slaps and rakes at his back. Poor guy. I have no idea if he stole from her or what, but I get the feeling that not involving myself was a pretty good idea. It’s not my country, I don’t understand the dynamics and to be selfish – I can’t spend the day in the police station giving statements.



I forgot to mention that story in yesterday’s blog. Quite a laugh.

Roadkill to Grand Canyon.

So we are in Seligman if you recall. We had a good eight hours sleep and woke up feeling refreshed. We headed across the street, adjacent to the motel and into the Road Kill Café for breakfast. This was our first experience just how massive breakfast is in America. Really, really big. The way they make the hash browns over there is fantastic, nothing like our Mc Donald’s ones here in South Africa. 

Top Tip No. 5: Coffee is expensive and doesn't taste all that great but - you get free refills. Quantity of quality. Get it in son.

Seligman has some fantastic little museum type stands of the old jail house, old horse carts and the first general store front still hanging on there for dear life. Retro fitted with modern technology which, to be honest, voids a bit of the authenticity. However I can understand that to keep the structures standing it is necessary to make supports and updates as the ravages of time attack.

We headed out from Seligman on the route 66 and took the link to the Grand Canyon. Mostly flat terrain, mostly dry and relatively unentertaining. When you arrive at Grand Canyon you travel through a modernised village and into the park. The terrain remains reasonably flat and unassuming all the way to the parking lot.

We walked from the parking lot to the main canyon walkway. Flat, flat, bit of an uphill and then BOOM! It opens up. Your eyes squint to focus on the dramatic change in landscape. The canyon is massive.  It must be hundreds of metres deep and hundreds of metres across. Maybe even miles across. It is so massive. Like nothing I have ever seen before. The stratospheric layers, cut over millions of years by the Colorado River, leaves you in awe of just how small and insignificant we are in the greater scheme of this planets life.  It is so deep. I just can’t explain it. Top 10 Scenic Views of my life so far. Think of Gods Window in Hazeyview but deeper and with a valley wall of the same magnitude on the other side. Unbelievable place.

Barbara and I had a walk around, we chickened out of going onto the ledge for a picture and eventually headed back to the bike. We decided to take a side road that follows the rim of the canyon to the south east. We traveled along the rim for miles and miles, stopping from time to time at unofficial viewing spots and the South Rim official spot. Truly epic.

Mystique Canyon Walls to Mysterious Sedona

The flatness of the canyon upper tier carries on for hundreds of miles as we left the dryness and noticed a spot of green on the hill to the right. Scenic Byway into Sedona.  A spot of drizzle started up but never sustained itself. As you travel along the 89A into Sedona your surrounds start to get lush and comfortable. Stables, ranches and mini resorts  are scattered along this straight little road. Then, on the Harley GPS, I noticed this mangled mess of spaghetti on the screen. “The road looks like it goes ape shit ahead?” I said to Barbara.

The 89A is a road to ride along before you die. Put it on your list – it belongs there. You descent into a valley of tall pines and epic red sandstone cliff faces. The road twists and turns with beautiful camber and a grippy surface. You lose altitude quickly, the temperature drops and the moisture in the air picks up. The sun sparkles through the trees and on to the small streams that cascade alongside the road. It is the type of road that makes you want to travel slower. The spaghetti on my GPS carried on and on for about 40 miles where the road eventually daylights from the pine trees.

Let me try describe this: You come out of the shade of the trees as the sun streams across the road in front of you. Over a tall bridge with massive red and orange rock formations on either side of you. The air is so pure and you are surrounded by quietness while the road surface sends a smooth undulating frequency through the suspension. Your mind slows down and your soul fills up with the goodness as you meander thought quaint spa resorts and acres of forest environment. Such a wonderful road.

We checked in at the La Petite and headed out for the night.

Meth and the Alien.

We ended up having dinner as Vino Di Sedona and called for a cab to take us home. Being a small town there is no Uber and literally one guy that runs a taxi service. Remember that scientist from Independence Day? The dude with the frizzy grey hair and demented look in his eyes. That dude – he is our taxi driver.

The driver, let us name him Paul, mentioned that he has been living in Sedona for around ten years now. He came for the Vortexes (Check out my Vortex Blog later) and to live a peaceful life. This peacefulness was unfortunately interrupted, as his story goes, as there is a portal in his house…a portal that – as he with all honesty tells us – sucked up the farmer’s cows. To a different dimension. Not a different planet mind you – a different dimension.

Now, I have had a few beers and I’m feeling cheeky. So I start to feed his hungry conspirator mind what it wants to hear. “Oh seriously? Wow that must have been scary.” “Ye dude. The one day I saw an Alien in the mirror my bathroom man. My neighbour next door saw him as well”. 

So obviously and ignorantly Barbara and I are having a little giggle to ourselves. But then something changed. This guy started pulling out the most competent and convincing theories. He spoke so well and with insane precision and intellect. This guy has done his homework. He starts telling us (convincing us maybe?) about the Five Beings, about magnetic resonance, xenomorphs and how the inter-dimensional portals function and why we, here, cannot use them yet. I promise you this guy put on a seriously competent and holistically solid argument. Paul has been abducted by Aliens twice already and he knows his shit.

Then he ruined it. After 30 minutes of mind-altering conversation: Me: “Geez that’s amazing. So, your mind has been opened hey?” Paul: “Ye dude. 14 years of Mormonism out the window you know. I took meth for the first time and ever since then my mind has been open duuuude.”

Damn meth head.




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